I'm not yet ready ..

Message sent to me.....

[1:42:37 PM] Lhani: .sencya kna kung naging makulit ako nitong mga nakaraang araw huh...sencya ndin kc inakala ko na ready kna ulit pumasok sa isang relasyon...di ko naisip na di nga tlga gnun kdali .apag move on lalo na 2 yrs din kau at 2 months plang nakalipas cmula ng maghiwalay kau ng mahal mo.now i undrstand...yaan mo po wla nman nagbago sa pagtingin ko sau eh..un padin un at kung kinakailangan na mag antay ako sau ng matagal hanggan sa maging ready kna ulit..mag aantay ako para sau...pangako yan.basta cmula ngaun tropa padin tau ahhh..wag kang mahihiyang lapitan ako pag may prob ka.khit ano po...andto lng ako.khit anong mangyari dto lng ako para sau...wag kapo sanang mahihiya...isipin nalng nating andto ako bilang tropa at ka buddy mo...ingat kpo palage... :)

left hanging

My previous writings were full of emotional disclosure. I truly miss writing something about the best days I had.

This week is the best so far. ( running out of words) I 'll continue later :)

HAPPINESS

At last!

It's a very nice feeling knowing that after all the heartaches and rejections you finally recovered. It had been a painful experience to me to remember all the things that I've done. The most important for me now is to live my life with smile and joy. I moved on and considered that I have a lot of things to be thankful to. I'm stronger now; stronger than before. Thanks for the people around me who keep on helping me throughout my ordeal. I will always cherish all the things you've given me. you are all my treasures. My dear friends, thank you for teaching me how to let go and love myself. :))

A night with Growing Up casts ..

with Daniel Padilla

with Niel Coleta and (forgot d name)

Kunin Mo Na Ang Lahat Sa Akin

May gusto ka saking mahal

May balak kang agawin sya
Itsura pa lang sakin lamang ka na
Akitin mo sya siguradong magwawagi ka

Nakikiusap ako sayo, nagmamakaawa
Kunin mo nang lahat sa akin
Wag lang sya
Kunin mo na ang lahat sa akin
Wag lang ang aking mahal
Alam kong kaya mong paibigin sya
Sakin maagaw mo sya
Pakiusap ko sayo magmahal ka na lang ng iba
Kunin mo na ang lahat sa akin
Wag lang ang aking mahal
Ikamamatay ng puso ko
Pag sa aki'y inagaw mo sya

May pakikilala ako sayo
Kasing kisig ng mahal ko
Sya na lang ang ibigin mo

Nakikiusap ako sayo nagmamakaawa
Kunin mo nang lahat sa akin
Wag lang sya

Kunin mo na ang lahat sa akin
Wag lang ang aking mahal
Alam kong kaya mong paibigin sya
Sakin maagaw mo sya
Pakiusap ko sayo magmahal ka na lang ng iba
Kunin mo na ang lahat sa akin
Wag lang ang aking mahal
Ikamamatay ng puso ko
Pag sa aki'y inagaw mo sya

Kunin mo na ang lahat sa akin

I SHALL move on

long-awaited call

I just received a call from her. She cried and confessed how she feels right now. I've been yearning for this to subside my agony. I never thought of that. I completely accepted that this thing would only happen in my dreams.When I was about to type the next sentence here in my blog, she texted me again and told me about what she feels. I truly want to win her back but it seems that there is a heavy force taking her away from me. I cannot live without her. She has been a part of my life and separation for me is really an ordeal. How can I forget the person who wiped my tears every time I cried? She lifted me up every time I stumble. Haayss.. I only wish that the person with her didn't exist. She is so confused about her feeling because of that man :_(

I WILL ALWAYS WAIT FOR YOU BHE :( FOREVER :_(

One More Chance :(

One More Chance

You say it's over
I say we've just begun
'Coz it ain't forever
Until our lives are done
I know I did some things
That I never should
I'd undo them if I could
I'd turn my life around for you
Anything you'd ask me to...
Just tell me...

chorus:
What must I do to make you want to stay
And take the hurt away
And leave it all to yesterday?
What can I say to make you change your mind?
To have the chance to turn the hands of time
Back to the days when you were mine?
Just give me one more chance for one last time.
I won't deny it
I know that I've done wrong
But you have to admit it
This love is just too strong
To just fade away into the night
Without putting up a fight
We can make it all alright
If we just give it one more try...
So...
What must I do to make you want to stay
And take the hurt away
And leave it all to yesterday?
What can I say to make you change your mind?
To have the chance to turn the hands of time
Back to the days when you were mine?
Just give me one more chance for one last time...
And what can I say to make you change your mind
To have the chance to turn the hands of time
Back to the days when you were mine?
Just give me one more chance for one last time.
Just one more kiss to last a lifetime
One more chance for one last time.

Nostalgia: A narrative

Two months ago, I Will Communicate Inc. was a name so uncanny to me. I did apply in various Korean schools in SBMA and luckily, I was able to experience the urge to choose among the schools. Finally, with the help of some pals whom I talked to, they led me to the remarkable school that leaves a mark of genuine bliss in my life as a teacher.

The grueling training commenced after I was hired----unofficially. I was so conceited that time to consider things nonchalantly. I was so proud and kept on asking myself about its significance. Later on, I realized that I didn’t know everything. It’s one of the precious experiences to grow and augment my skills.

The precious time came. I was so excited to go to the camp. The camp was foreign to me. The ambiance wasn’t the typical place where I could see desk, teacher’s table, blackboard, posters on the wall informing who the cleaners are, lesson plans etc. The atmosphere was so strange. I thought of a world of boredom and agonizing experience. Nevertheless, I accepted my fate for the reason that it was my heart that chose it in the first place. Before each class started, the lady possessing the attributes of a pearl and leniency (Teacher Cha) informed us on what shall be done—take note everyday. She continuously enlightened us about the things to consider before, during, and after the class. She had a side-kick named Teacher Mirany, the humorous, entertaining, and gregarious teacher. She cracked jokes that gave life to the souls in deep slumber. She colored the atmosphere of pressure and distress. I’m very grateful being friends with them.

I don’t truly want to talk about my students because every time I reminisce what we have shared together, I can’t stand the pain of losing them. So maybe it’s better to describe first my co- teachers who helped and accompanied me to surpass all things.

My co-teachers came from different departments. Some came from tutorial dept., some in Phone English dept., and some came from the previous camp---winter camp. These lovely teachers were my chatmates, classmate in craziness, and also seatmate in FV. Well, some of them were still strange, but most of them are easy to be with. How can I forget the food of ate Mina during lunch break? , the voice of MM while explaining why she gave numerous homework, the confession of ate Kim about the behavior of her students, the canned goods of Sean and the weird thing he did to open it, the blissful face of T. Yeng describing the cute deeds of his favorite student Danny, the complain of Arianne B. about the food her jowa prepared, the disclosure of teacher Cha on Boss’ demands and,cream of the crop, teacher Mirany’s FART TIME AND PULL TIME. I cannot tell how the others spent their break because they were busy chatting in the other rooms.

To break my agony, I will now write about my dear students. These wonderful kids were truly adorable and kind.

My first hour was spent plainly for conversation with Stella, also called the “he slash she” of the camp (coined by yours truly). Well I wrote that because she manifests the genuine masculinity. Next class was vocabulary with Daisy. I will never forget how she told me the story of her E.T friend. I was so scared and slightly doubtful. Daisy complained a lot. She always uttered the word “REALLY?”—super rising intonation required--- After was Kim Seung hwan, the Mr. Pionte. He was my student in writing. He’s the student who couldn’t live without his dictionary. Actually, some of his writings were so “strengiiii”—as how he pronounced—because the words that his dictionary provided him were so profound. I can still remember when he wrote; “I fell mortified”. I asked him the meaning and he just replied, “JUST” grrrr!. Ikaw na! His being Pionte came out at the last week of the camp. He was so curious about the meaning of “JUNJUN” and “KEPS” well; you’d better ask the mastermind, Mr. Marc. Peace yow! Next was the tallest, Mike. He was also my student in writing. He was the root cause why they called me pionte. Grr.. ryt teacher Yeng? Haha.. I just asked teacher Yeng if she had angry bird and the meaning was totally changed! Thanks Mike for the green-leafy mind! Haha. After the class, it was the time to taste the toothsome lunch. I already wrote something about the things that happened during lunch (5th paragraph) ryt? Feel free to read it again most especially teacher Mirany’s rage to tooooooooooooot.. censored wakakka…hint? PARENTS ARE VERY FICKY! Arg! (I love my job so writing the name is strictly prohibited hahaha)

Moving on, the first class in the afternoon, started with Susan. She was sleepy, tired and grumpy. Next was my favorite class with my anakis, Jay. He was sometimes immodest and rude. He was complaining about his book, “Can you believe it?” and he answered NO. wat da! His personality complements mine. I could ride on his disposition and accepted it wholeheartedly. I listened to his heart as he revealed his lacerating agony. His mother has a cancer and everytime I asked him about it, his sorrowful voice reached my ears to listen to his confession. I felt helpless because all I could do was to listen. I made him cheerful to lessen the load in his heart. I made him laugh and sometimes it was a guffaw. I was absolutely relieved in seeing him like that. I realized the little thing I did for him. Now I understand.

Reminiscing the past is a suicide. I tried to forget what I’ve experienced but my mind commanded me to write and unleash my misery. I’m being too emotional because this is my first encounter with foreign students. I taught in OCNHS during my practice teaching but the experience here is truly worthwhile. I felt the feeling of waking up early and excited to see the kids, preparing for the best exam that will gauge their weakness and strength though I just had few hours to put my feet up, the feeling of the worthlessness of the salary you would receive just to see them ubiquitously.

The smiles and the relieving voice of students saying “thank you” meant a lot to me. My fiery passion in teaching evolved to a never-discovered-term to outshine passion. I will treasure everyone so much. I hope to see you and let’s bond again and make the most out of it. But for now, I will leave this message not to mean the end of everything but to mean a start of new beginning. FAREWELL to you my friends we will see each other again.:_)

Bob Ong quotes :)

Mga qoutes ni BOB ONG.

1. "Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pagtinamaan ng pagmamahal. Yun nga lang,
hindi lahat matibay para sa temptasyon."

2. "Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang taong malapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak
para alagaan ang sarili mo."

3. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawakan ng iba.
"

4. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."

5. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."

6. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung
walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."

7. "Kung maghihintay ka nang ng lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay
mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din."

8. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na
araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."

9. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi
pagkukusa."

10. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin
na di mo mahal pero mahal ka. Kaya quits lang."

11. "Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali? alam ba nilang pag
natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?

12. "Hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na
sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama
ka."

13. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang
puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon,
kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo
na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag
mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo:
magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso,
utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi
IKAW mismo!"

14. "nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay. hindi ito
multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the-
blanks na sinasagutan kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw. Huhusgahan ito
hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan
ang mga isinulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures."

15. "Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon sa hinaharap,
mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng
kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling
mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa
paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e
nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka."

16. "ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko "

17. "hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?"

18. "hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay
kasinungalingan na ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay
katotohanan. "

19. "Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad sa bubog nang
nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang
umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nila kung saan
ang mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan."

20. "Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka
pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga
araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher. (Haaay,
sarap!)."

21. "Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya,
palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may
pagkukulang sa'yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde.
Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok
sa kili-kili. Sa bandang huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang
napatunayan at bait sa sarili."

Saturday boredom

Nothing to do..

Nothing to feel..

I'm yearning for happiness this day...

Who can find it for me???

discovered talent

I cannot believe how Mr. Ed Manguiat expressed his admiration on my talent. He is known as a very brilliant conductor of UP Singing Ambassadors and being appreciated is a wonderful thing :)
He even offered me to join UPSA. I definitely want to be a part but I still have lots of things to prioritize. I truly want to grab the opportunity but....but....but.... naaa! grrr

with the conductor and the founder of the UP Singing Ambassadors..

I miss this so much :)

with my lovely students...

I only have few more weeks in OCNHS.. I will certainly miss my students...huhuhu

OCES 2003

It was a very successful reunion...

PASE VOCI: My family, My home.

The beginning

I could still remember the first time I joined this organization.=D I also had my audition like the same thing that happens to the new members. I was nervous and I felt so intimidated because I believed that the members of this org are really good in singing and I didn’t want them to reject nor say something against me. Many things hovered around my mind. I really hoped that I could meet their expectations since I was a student of a curriculum which molds student with talents. Ate Vidz played her keyboard while I was singing the song entitled “Power of Your Love”.

Performances

PASE VOCI opened many doors for me to be known in my chosen arena. I was able to perform in different occasions such as: weddings, meetings, seminars, convocations, not-so-important-gatherings, and believe me or not, I sang to a funeral. Hehe.. Well, of course these events boosted my confidence and passion in singing.

Mr. Mustar

He first handled PASE VOCI before Ma’am Dave. Sir Juvimin S. Mustar is a very funny, witty, active, supportive, lovely, generous, skilled, chubby-peace sir!, conductor slash coordinator of PASE VOCI. He never left us not until he was assigned to handle the OC Marching Band. I can’t say anything terrible about Sir Juvs. All the positive adjectives could really describe him. Maybe chubby isn’t included.. :D

Ms. Dave

When students hear her name, lots of intrigues come in. Well, I can’t blame them because when she was my instructor in PE, she was really strict and seldom smile ;)..But all these things have changed right after I knew her profoundly. Yes. There’s no doubt that Ma’am is really strict. “What she wants, she gets”. But if we would just view that hidden picture of it, she just wants us to be serious and disciplined. I salute her for her devotion on what she is doing. I can see fire-burning commitment and uncomparable dedication.


Time passes at a fast pace

When I look back, it is inevitable to be emotional. “Is this true? I’ll leave VOCI?” I’ve been in the group for 4 years now and I consider this group as my family. VOCI is part of my life now and if this part will run off, it would be a great lost for me. I will certainly miss this group- the group where I performed, smiled, laughed, cried and the group that opened an opportunity for my talent to be appreciated and loved by GC. I wouldn’t be who I am now if you’re not with me VOCI.


My fellow VOCI

I think it is about time to say our goodbyes to all of you. We, 4th years, especially your Ate Vidz will miss you all. We believe that you can handle and take care of this group as what we have done. We believe on what you have that will place PASE VOCI in its spick and span likeness. For the new members, pls respect your ates and kuyas. You can open your heart to them to have a strong bond and rapport among you. J


KUYA EDU is signing off…………………..

My guru

When I first saw her, I was so intimidated. Her old-fashioned image made me feel uncomfortable to ask or to tell something which would clarify my thoughts. The first day was a full of anxious moments thinking and asking myself, “Is she the one who would teach me until March?” I paused for a moment….

Regular classes have started. I went to school at exactly 6: 20 AM. It was so different because I used to wake up late. She told me that our first class is very dull and most of the students are absent. I was surprised by what she uttered. We went to the class and faced reality. I first observed her class in the days that passed. I saw her strategies and way of teaching. I wasn’t expecting that she, in her old-age would not be the traditional type of teacher. Her unique way of teaching is so much impressive because she is able to reach her students with difficulty in learning the language. Her classes start at 6:30 AM until 11:00 AM. I cannot believe how she handles classes with consistency, to think that she only has few minutes to prepare for the next class and she doesn’t have time to rest.

My cooperating teacher is my second mom. Yes. I frequently called her Ma’am but her distinct likeness would still be a mother who guides me in the path that I’m taking. She is very eager to teach and impart to me what she has. In every class that we have, there are always new things I learn and understand. She has provided me with bulk of knowledge that I can use when I’m in the field. Ma’am Casiano is not an ordinary person to me. She is my eyes in the dark side of my pathway. She directs me to the world of unknowns and helps me understand all the vague concepts that I may encounter.

My dear mentor will always be a precious stone that everyone is longing for. She was made firm by her experiences. Her effective way of teaching is truly admirable. Her dedication in teaching is something irreplaceable. I idolize her so much and I truthfully hope that I could fill in her footsteps in a very rough side road and I’ll be able to make my own.

"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops."

know me in teaching..

I woke up one morning and all things have changed. It seems that the last four years are the memories of yesterday and this day is the time to face the truth; the truth that will never be a dream that you could wake up if u wish to get out from it.

When I was preparing my visual aids, I thought for a while and anticipated about what would happen. Honestly, I wanted to be a teacher who is terror and evil. lol. I wanted to be respected and looked up by my students. I wasn’t expecting that all these things were just a false fact.

I was trembling during my first encounter with my new students. They are very intimidating although they belong in a lower section. I discussed my topic and all of them listened. I tried to be cruel but I can’t explain why I couldn’t do it. My students are very sweet and thoughtful. You cannot search for flaws that will make you get angry with them. Sometimes I’m strict but most of the time, I let them do whatever they want provided that they will do whatever I ask.

I’m handling 3-6, 3-7, 3-14 and 3-15. These classes cannot be replaced by the most intelligent class in OCNHS. They easily touched my heart that made me decide to impart and provide them what I know.

So far, I’m really delighted that I can control the class when my time starts. I could see that they are very enthusiastic to learn new things. I promised myself that I will give them all they need that will make them better and functional citizens of our country.--too broad isn’t it? Lol. Presently, I have known that you cannot apply the same strategy in every class that you have. Since some of them are marginal learners, I resolutely believe that we should do activities that will reach their raw understandings about the language. Furthermore, I’m very glad that I’m able to touch their lives by the pieces of advice that I give.

I can still remember my student who asked me something about his life and he seeks help from me. I‘ve given all the pieces of advice that he can use throughout his life. He thanked me and trusted me to be his personal counselor. I cannot believe that I have the ability to strengthen the hidden emotions of my students. I learned to be transparent so that my students can reach me.

This experience cannot be substituted by the most precious thing in this world. It makes me blissful and it strengthens my passion in teaching.

practice teacher

This is taken after we went to the funeral of the mother of my student, James. This class is my favorite. They easily embraced me with love and respect. Presently, I'm handling four sections.
This experience is something indispensable. I will surely treasure this class for it makes feel at home.. :)